


Worst Kept Secret

by Moonlitedancer



Series: All Our Secrets [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 22:45:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11610510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlitedancer/pseuds/Moonlitedancer
Summary: Dean can't let Sam know what he's thinking. Sam always has a way of finding out.





	Worst Kept Secret

Fingers brush softly over his arm, waking him from his much-needed slumber. “What the hell are you doing, man?”  
A soft snuffle lets him know that Sam isn’t completely awake…or aware…of his actions yet. “D-Dean?” Sam shuffles under the blanket to make himself more comfortable. “What’s going on?”  
Dean sighs and shakes his head, inching away from Sam, trying to make some space in the bed that now seems too small. “Move over, asshole. You’ve got the whole bed on the other side of you.”  
“It’s cold.” Sam mummers as he slides languidly over to the other side of the bed. “Your fault there’s only one bed.” He crumples the pillow under his head to better support his neck, and pulls the majority of the blankets back over to his side of the bed.  
Dean waits a breath or two to see if Sam will shift back over to his side then lets out all the air in his lungs. It is his fault that there’s only one bed. He’s the reason they had to leave the last town in a rush and ended up at this trashy motel. Even by their usual standards, this place was bad. He’s almost certain that this rooms never been cleaned in the whole time that the motels been in business. It makes a shiver go down his spine. He shouldn’t have started that bar fight that sent the sheriff looking for him, but that guy shouldn’t have been leering at Sam that way either. Sam was his, even if he wasn’t really.  
Dean had been dealing with these feelings for his brother for too long. Normally, he’d let women throw themselves at Sam and he pushes down the jealousy that threatens to boil over on too many occasions, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself when that guy at the bar wouldn’t look away. He’d tried to subtly warn him to quit watching, but the guy had spat at him and called him a faggot and Dean had lost it. Sam hadn’t heard, didn’t know; but backed him up and got them out of town before Dean got caught. Dean pulled his knees up to his chest as he curled up on his side. He needed to protect Sam, even if that meant from himself.  
~~~  
In the next town, Dean rented two rooms. Sam was pissed. “They only had single beds!”  
“Fuck, Dean, am I that awful to be around? Didn’t we do just fine at the last motel?” Sam throw his bag down on his bed and turned to face Dean in the doorway. Dean, who was still holding his duffle, who wouldn’t look Sam in the face. Dean who was Sam’s everything but was now trying to put space between them, separate them, drive Sam away. Sam made a move to walk towards his brother, but thought better of it. “You know what? Fuck you. Get out of my room.” Sam swung himself back around and began looking through his bag.  
Dean’s shoulders slumped. He stared at Sam’s expansive back for minutes before he hangs his head and turns to leave. “Ok, I’ll go.”  
Sam hears the unspoken, I knew you’d leave me too. Sam can’t think of Dean’s pain right now. If he did, he’d give in to those feelings and he’d never get away from this life. He’d never have a semblance of normal again.  
~~~  
Dean tried to sleep, but the bed was too big. The room was too quiet. He could almost feel Sam’s anger radiating through the wall that separated their rooms, or maybe it was just his own anger finally being directed at its proper target, himself. He got up and shed his shirt and drawers and headed it the shower. As the warm water beat against his back, he pictured Sam, shoulders slumped in defeat. Even in trying to protect him, he was breaking his brother. He couldn’t do anything right.  
Dean got out of the shower and toweled himself off, just falling, naked onto the bed. He hadn’t had that luxury in a while. He wrestled around, trying to get comfortable. His mind kept returning to Sam- his broad shoulders, the way he’d worry his lip when he was anxious or doing research, his strong arms and thighs. His dick gives a twitch of interest. He tries to think of anything else that’ll take him from half-hard to nothing, but it wasn’t working. Thoughts of past hunts just left thoughts of his hands on Sam, mending aches and sighs of relief. The noises Sam makes when he isn’t paying attention causes Dean excruciating pain with how hard he gets, no way to find release in the moment, but he can now. Sam’s never going to know.  
Dean’s hand shifts down his stomach to finally wrap around his cock. He huffs and sighs as he pulls, gentle in a way that he can never be in any other area of his life. Moans break out of his mouth the closer he gets to completion. As he comes, words slip out of his mouth, “Oh, god, Sammy.”  
~~~  
Sam ears twitch. He hears the water start in Dean’s room. The clock in his room glares the neon red 1:48, accusing him of focusing too much on his brother to get proper sleep, but he takes joy in know that Dean isn’t sleeping either. As he hears the shower continuing to run, he thinks of what Dean’s doing. He knows that Dean loves scalding showers in a way that no normal human ever should. It always leaves Dean’s skin so warm and him looking more relaxed and open than Sam gets the pleasure of ever seeing him.  
Dean’s shower shuts off and that’s when reality sinks in for Sam. He realizes that at some time he got so into his thoughts that his hand had drifted absentmindedly around his cock and he was jerking himself to thoughts of his brother. He should be ashamed, but he isn’t. It isn’t the first time and Sam knows it won’t be the last.  
Sam strains his ears to hear any sign of what Dean is doing now to help him finish. The springs of Dean’s bed squeak as Sam assumes he tries to make himself more comfortable. Sam’s so close, thinking about Dean in that bed and what he’d do to him if he had just a little more courage or wasn’t related to him, maybe. He almost misses the sounds of Dean’s heavy breathing and moans, but his ears are strained and he picks up on it. Sam moves his hand in conjunction to the moans and gets himself closer and closer to release. As he finally finds himself crashing over the edge, he hears Dean moan out his name. Sam chokes out a sob that sounds more like a laugh.  
A grin splits his face. He can have everything he’s wanted now, knowing that Dean wants him too. He just has to come up with the right plan to get Dean there.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first tryst with fanfiction. There may be more. Let me know what you think.


End file.
